A woman’s decision to have sex with a man is not a decision to be taken lightly. There are so many undesirable outcomes that can occur when a woman makes an uninformed decision about having sex. Asking critical questions should be part of the decision making process. These being said, here are five questions a woman should ask before having sex with a man.
QUESTION #1: AM I IN POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP?
Before a woman has sex with a man or new partner, she must first ask if she is in a positive relationship with him. When a woman is in a positive relationship with a man, she will be in a secure position wherein she is properly treated, cared for and loved. When in a positive relationship, sex and sexuality become a natural expression of that positive relationship.
Within a positive relationship, there is no harm, abuse or betrayal and therefore the expression of sex within that relationship, will be kind, careful and honest. Furthermore, a woman should consider the fact that sexual intercourse could lead to the conception of a child. Ideally, a woman would want to be in a positive relationship with the man that she is having sex with, so that in the event that a child is conceived, she would be secure in knowing that the man she is in a positive relationship with, will be there for her and for their child indefinitely.
QUESTION #2: IS BE CONDUCTING HIMSELF AS A RESPONSIBLE MAN?
This is an important question for all women to ask because the notion of allowing an irresponsible man to place him penis into her vagina is irrational, illogical and unreasonable. Women must understand that sexual interaction with irresponsible men will always lead to physical, sexual and emotional trauma. Whether a woman is in a committed relationship or not, if she is dealing with an irresponsible man, she will suffer.
One of the challenges that many women face, is that they do not have an understanding of the differences between a responsible man and an irresponsible man. And the absence of this understanding leads many women into allowing irresponsible men to enter into their vaginas.
This is why it is to a woman’s benefits to always ask critical questions about the character of the man they are considering having sex with. One of the critical questions happens to be “is he conducting himself as a responsible man”. Does he have a job and does he pay his own way? Does he spend more time on intellectual or family activities than he does going out every night drinking, partying and revelling with his friends?
QUESTION #3: DO I KNOW HIS SEXUAL HISTORY?
A man’s sexual history will reveal a great deal about his character. Women must understand that if you ask a man about his sexual history and he does not want to talk about it, then it will be to your benefit to not have sex with him. As a matter of full disclosure, sex and sexual intercourse should be discussed openly, honestly and maturely between the man and the woman prior to any sexual activity. A woman should sit down with the man and they should discuss his complete sexual history. The discussion should include dialogue about all of the sexual partners that he has had in his life; the types of sexual experiences he has had in his life; the regularity at which he masturbates; his past exposure to pornography; his current exposure to pornography; the type of pornography that he currently views e.g. soft, hard core, bondage, sado masochism, gore, snuff, anal, animee, oral, etc. The dialogue should also include the type of sex he is currently into, the sexual expectations that he currently has, whether or not his sexual expectations are in line with what the woman is comfortable with, whether or not he has any sexually transmitted diseases, etc.
It takes a very mature man to openly and honestly share his sexual history with the woman that he wishes to have sex with. If a man does not want to talk about his sexual history then this may be an indicator that his sexual history is not a positive one. By keeping his negative sexual history secret, the man is also able to keep his true character secret. If a woman wants to avoid future suffering then she should not have sex with such a man.
I understand that asking a man to reveal his sexual history may seem to be extreme, but the truth of the matter is that a woman should love herself enough to get as much information about the man as possible prior to deciding to have sex with him. One may ask “shouldnt a man ask the woman about her sexual history? The answer is yes. A man should also ask the woman about her sexual history. In fact, if a man does not ask a woman about her sexual history then this will mean that he does not care about her sexual history. And if he does not care about her sexual history then he does not care about his own sexual safety. If he does not care about his own sexual safety then it would be illogical to believe that he will care about the sexual safety of the woman that he wishes to have sex with. Logically therefore, if will be unreasonable for a woman to allow a man who does not care about her sexual safety to place his penis into her vagina.
QUESTION#4: IS HE THE TYPE OF MAN THAT WOULD WANT TO RAISE A FAMILY WITH?
This question should cause a woman to think more carefully about sex and sexual intercourse. There are some women who simply do not value their vaginas to the degree that they should and as a result they may engage in permissive sexual intercourse without considering the possibility that they may become pregnant by a man who is not interested in raising a family . Even if birth control methods are being used, the possibility of conceiving a child with a man who is not interested in raising a family should give a woman enough reason to pause. If the man is not the type of man that she would want to raise family with, then the woman should not have sex with him.
I must also add that even if a woman does not want to create a family or is unable to conceive children, she should still ask the question as a matter of proper intellectual process. Many women are single parents today because they have engaged in sex with an irresponsible man who is not ready to be a father.
QUESTION#5: IS HE THE TYPE OF MAN THAT WILL BE A GOOD FATHER TO MY CHILDREN?
This is an important question to ask because it speaks to the quality and character of the man that the woman is considering having sexual intercourse with. Again, if sex takes place, then the possibility of conceiving a child should be enough incentive for a woman to pause and question if he is good father material.
As stated before, even if a woman does not want to or is unable have children, she should still ask the question as a matter of proper intellectual process. The main issue that this question brings to light, is the character of the man the woman is considering having sex with. A woman should refrain from having sex with a man who is a poor father figure. This also means if the man already has children from a previous relationship and if he is not a good father to the children he already has, the woman should not have sex with him.
Women, if you answer NO to any of these questions, then it will be in your best interest to not have sex with him. By not having sex with him, you will keep yourself safe from a great deal of pain and sadness. And even if you are seeing him, walking away when it becomes necessary will be so much easier if you have not had sex with him.
Based on a recording by Lenon Honor