Why focus all your romantic energy on Valentine’s Day? With these sweet, steamy ideas for every day of the month, you and your guy will be reaping the benefits way past the 28th.
GAZE INTO HIS EYES
People who are deeply in love stare at each other 30 to 40 percent more than other couples do, and are slower to look away during an interruption. So next time he locks eyes with you, or vice versa, treat it like a staring contest — the longer you can hold the gaze, the hotter it will be.
SEND A FLIRTY TEXT
If you’re feeling feisty, compose a sext. One fun game idea is next time you’re out with friends, text him that if he works a funny, sexual word into the conversation a certain number of times before you leave, you’ll do that thing he loves later. Or, check out these other ideas.
Buttering him up boosts his confidence, makes him feel great, and turns him on. “Words of affirmation from another can put couples in the mood,” says Jennifer Jones, who works with couples in therapy at the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Social Policy & Practice. “Men and women both want to be desired by their partners, and when you feel confident, that can translate into feeling sexy.”
Come up with a unique hashtag on Instagram to tag photos you post of special moments you shared together. “Before you know it, you’ll have a whole photo album of your relationship.” With pretty filters, too! #SoCute.
GO FOR A QUICKIE
Spontaneous, exciting…not sounding quite like your everyday life? Squeeze in a quickie, which adds variety and an element of surprise to your sex life, says Blakeway. “If you’re not having sex because by the time you fall into bed at night, you’re totally exhausted, then perhaps it’s time to figure out if you can manage a lunchtime rendezvous now and then, or experiment with setting the alarm back a little for some morning action,” she says, “Make whatever arrangements necessary for your kids to make sure your time is undisturbed.” Consider it one more reason for bedroom door locks and firm, early bedtimes.
DONT FORGET TO PLAY
If you’re feeling the need to lighten things up, you’ve got the right idea. “Research suggests that creativity serves an important role in attraction and relationship maintenance,” says Glenn Geher, co-author of Mating Intelligence Unleashed. “Engaging in creative activities with your partner — like playing music together or playing a creative game like Pictionary — can help you enjoy him in a broader sense. Fostering creativity in romance is a core element of human mating intelligence.” Let the games begin.
SURPRISE HIM DURING THE DAY
A sweet, unexpected gesture will get him thinking about you while he’s at work, makin
him extra excited to see you later. “Drop a note in his briefcase that you have something spcial planned for that night, or text him to let him know you can’t stop thinking about him,” says Keryl Pesce, happiness expert and author of Happy Bitch. It’s all about the anticipation.
MATCH YOUR BREATHING RHYTHMS
“Synchronizing your breathing creates intimacy and connection,” explains Blakeway. Try lying down facing each other, and start to breathe in sync. Breathe in as he breathes out, and vice versa, so it’s like the same breath is circulating through both of you. By matching your inhalations and exhalations, you and your partner will also sync up your rhythms, strengthening your physical and emotional connection in that moment.
KISS, JUST KISS
Remember how exciting a make-out session was when you were 15? Focus on recreating that sensation — without letting your mind wander. “While most intimate relationships begin with lots of kissing, it commonly falls out of the repertoire over time,” says Blakeway. “It’s no coincidence that couples often become less passionate and lose vibrancy around the same time.” Steamy smooching that doesn’t lead to sex helps restore longing that may be missing from your relationship these days.
RUN HIM A BATH
There are few things more relaxing and stress-busting than a soak in the tub, so next time he’s having a rough week, prepare a hot bubble bath with scented candles, and have it waiting for him after work. He’ll appreciate you taking the time to do something sweet for him with everything else you have on your hands. Even better if you can make it a Friday night, hand the kids off to a friend, and be waiting for him when he gets there.
TAKE TURNS BEING THE BOSS IN BED
When you get under the covers, let him know that you’re in charge by challenging him not to make a move on you until you tell him it’s time. After a long day of decision-making, he’ll love being able to sit back, relax, and enjoy what you have in store for him — whatever that may be. Then, switch roles and tell him to take charge. Ask him what he’s in the mood for, and enthusiastically obey his every demand, within reason. He’ll get into it in no time.
WRITE A LOVE NOTE
We don’t claim to be Jane Austen when it comes to eloquently writing our feelings, but you need not be a wordsmith to pen a heartfelt note expressing your love. Even if it’s just a card that says, “I’m so glad you’re in my life,” it’s a super-sweet gesture that will make your guy melt. And if you’re really stumped, take a page out of Mr. Big’s book (in Sex and the City, the movie!) and rewrite a famous love note or poem. He’ll adore it nonetheless.