I have always tried to resist the temptation to write about bad behaviours and shenanigans of my Naija folks in London buy try as I may, people wont just allow me to stick to my promise.
Like I’ve said many times before in this column, London city is filled with thousands of hard working decent Nigerians doing their uttermost best to portray our dear fatherland Nigeria in as positive a light as possible. These are those professionals. Self-employed entrepreneurs and business owners employing other Nigerians and Africans
There are many Nigerians who go about their daily business quietly and privately without scandal. trouble or blemish.
But we also have those who no amount of money or fine trendy clothes can stop showing their true colours. Those who no matter how far away from home they are, have no compunction against giving other Nigerians a bad name.
At a very plush and posh hotel, Nigerians turned an exclusive party into a free for all fight.
The party which held in one of the glamorous venues in the city of London was the setting of the wedding of a London Big Boy. But some of his guests inebriated under the influence of expensive champagne, Jack Daniels, Hennessey and Remy Martins – decided to engage in a brawl over a silly argument – much to the hostile amusement of the hotel management and obvious chagrin of the newly wed couple.
Another London Big boy got the shock of his life when he met his match in a woman who would not be used and spat out. The moneyed loud mouth had taken a socialite out on a “date” and then checked the duo into a plush hotel in the city. The following morning, instead of doing the gentlemanly thing and driving his lady back home, he dismissed her and ordered her to go get public transport. The hard nut no-nonsense lady deciding to teach our lothario a lesson, got dressed and ready to leave – with our Big Boys car keys.
Sensing his pending predicament, Big Boy without thinking, jumped up from the bed and ran out of the room after his retreating lady – fully unclothed. Within seconds, much to our Casanova’s shock, the door of the hotel room slammed shut bhind him and he was left BUTT NAKED standing in the corridor of a hotel room with nothing on except his expensive necklace!!! And rather than stay quiet and think or a way out of his embarrassing situation – no, not our Big Boy. He chose to stand in all his naked glory and shout all kinds of expletives and abuses at the poor lady , catching the attention of other guests and staff in the hotel. Not one for public display of one’s dirty linen, the lady quietly slliped away leaving Big Boy to sort himself out
Guess who had the last laugh….
Not too long ago, a middle age Nigerian man who had been working in the UK with a stolen identity got his just desserts – ironically due to his own greed and stupidity. Working with a dead infant’s identity, this man from the West of Nigeria got a job and managed to get promoted to the top of a Government Agency, However, the current administration’s budget cuts meant this man’s agency along with his job got axed. Rather than go in search of another job, our egbon decided to arrogantly apply for government welfare benefits which all unemployed bona fide UK citizens are entitled to.
Needles to say that the fact that the records he presented at the benefits office were already on the records as those of a dead person – and that was when his deceitful lies blew up in his face.
He is now remembering his own names and details at Her Majesty’s pleasure.
There are thousands of Nigerians living in th UK under assumed names and with the identities of dead children – some of them for many years. But the lies are finally catching up with many of them. The sad thing is that those who have spent years building up a life and properties, end up losing them all when their lies are discovered.
There are thousands of Nigerians living illegally but large and luxurious lifestyles in London. I am always shocked at some folks when they are pointed out to me as illegal. They are the loudest, most sociable and usually most extravagantly dressed and you will see them most weekends, at most parties and events.
Nowadays social media is awash with disgraceful pictures, videos and posts of women caught either in action with another woman’s husband, or married women with side-bobos, and sex videos sent virally over the Internet . This disturbing trend however is mostly characterised by Yoruba women who seem intent on outdoing their male counterparts in behaving badly and shamelessly!
Watch my video “Nigerian ladies, we need to start checking ourselves”: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10210711450880795&id=1184746265
Women how were once tight bestos, sharing deep secrets, privy to each others most sacred thoughts and deeds, end up flinging these same dirty secrets all over Facebook and WhatsApp the moment there is a falling out, with no thought whatsoever on how their nastiness could affect their husbands, kids, family or other friends, nor indeed how it will reflect on them at their places of work!
The different series of “Jibike” tapes are still fresh in our memories and will be the talk of town for some time to come.
Nowadays, you don’t need to visit a porn site to get your titillation. Nigerian woman foolishly getting themselves into all kinds of highly questionable situations with guys of even more questionable characters are providing enough free porn on the Internet . Hardly a week goes by without some sex tape or the other being leaked by someone’s one time “baby”
Hungry, lazy, broke-ass, jobles boys who go around London seeking sex starved, lonely and unloved women – married and otherwise, blackmail and extort the women after threatening to release sex videos and pictures taken of each other in the middle of “getting down ” ,when things were good and loving between them. …and go ahead and make good their threat when the poor woman can’t pay up.
And there of course is the raging scandal of our so called community leaders. Many representative bodies and organisations are constantly ravaged by tales of embezzlement, abuse of power, usurpage of power, alienation of co-leaders, selt intetest, self agrandissement and self promotion at the expense of the members they are meant to be representing…..
Not much different from what exists back home, then.
With all the rubbish that London Nigerian men and women are dishing on the Internet, I wonder what our kids or other communities are making of us….
There’s a pupular saying that you can take a Naija man out of Nigeria, but you can’t take Nigeria out of a naija man. I guess some folks just make that so true…..
***This article was first published in 2015 but edited to reflect recent occurrences within our community**
UPCOMING LONDON EVENTS