I received with mixed feelings of amusement, shock and gratitude all rolled together – the news that I was mentioned in City People’s Magazine  “100 Big Naija Babes in the UK” (February 2015) I must have screamed and shouted for well over 10 minutes to the “delight” of my neighbors and the usual eyes rolling from my kids!

The truth of the matter is that I wouldn’t have thought I’d find my name on such a list cos I do not see myself as a big babe in any way. That title is in my opinion, reserved for ladies that have all in abundance – cash, great job or business, big car, big house in a posh area, and perhaps a Big Bobo/Hubby. Im just a simple chick from Woolwich with a moderate vehicle and no Bobo! As for the cash – well…

Nevertheless, the way we see ourselves is not always the way others see us. While I see myself as an ordinary working divorced mum of three, hustling and finding ways to make ends meet, someone else has looked and seen Big Babe – and not just in the size of certain God given features! (I hope) Some one has looked and seen beyond what I see about myself and I’m sure some of the ladies on the list will say the same too. And for this I’m thankful.

I personally know the publisher of City People – Seye Kehinde, a friend and former class mate from Ogun Poly – but I have been reliably informed the list wasn’t compiled by him – rather by one of City People’s freelance reporters. And this reporter is not personally known to me – so including me and possibly many of the others in the list is based on their opinion from observation rather than personal acquaintanceship and favorable bias.

Now that that is sorted – I am likewise amused and humbled at the same time, by the responses from different folks. As soon as the report went public, my phone went crazy with phone calls from my friends and well wishers bearing congratulatory messages. Apparently, it is another badge of honour to appear in any of City People’s list! Several similar messages have been posted on my Social Media walls.

But I have also had certain “friends” who very rarely post or comment on my wall – use this particular occasion to post highly offensive and clearly non-supportive comments. The type of comments that are by their very nature, aimed at ridiculing rather than congratulating.

This brings me to these questions – “Just why do some people find it so difficult to rejoice with others when they are being celebrated? “Why would certain people turn their friend’s “moment” into a season for nastiness? “Why can’t some people just say the simple words – I am happy for you? These are the same type of friends that will comment loudly on their friends Wedding Day “I bet he’s only marrying her cos she got pregnant” or “Gosh, that dress is hideous” or “That bobo is so short, was she that desperate?”

I always say “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”

When your “friend” is being celebrated, if you can’t pretend to be happy as we all know not many would be, and say something nice – even if that is not what you are feeling inside, DO NOT  go on social media and post nasty ridiculous comments! It makes you look angry, bitter and jealous!

The green fangs are hard to hide. Envy is a loud, green-eyed monster and people can see it a mile away!!

Jummy Ariyo

2015