By Guest blogger
So I just found out its World Breastfeeding week and couldn’t pass on the opportunity to share the story of my journey😁
There’s this notion that stems from the traditional African belief that wide hips and big boobs are a sign of health and fertility in a woman. Some men even go to the extent of believing that a curvaceous woman means naturally born healthy children.
Well…… I have three children but none were born naturally 🤗 Now for those thinking I was “too posh to push”; my first was an emergency caesarean and my other 2 were elective caesareans on medical grounds. All I can say is that my so called “child-bearing” hips and “Ass-ets” were primarily for Marketing purposes. Or rather more like Product placement to ensure my bride price was upgraded from those Maasai nomads cows to the Scottish Aberdeen Angus 🐄🐂
Having the caesareans meant that I was not initially able to breastfeed the babies as I took longer coming round from the anaesthetic and generally weak. I know most people think new moms produce their “free range organic milk” on tap but trust me, some taps are usually dry for a few hours or even days after birth before the floodgates open just like those gorges of Hells Gate. And when the floodgates open, just pray the baby is not asleep, because when those ducts fill up with the “liquid qold” without a release mechanism, they could easily turn into “heavy artillery” with “projectile missiles” which apparently placing cold cabbage leaves on these “heavy artillery” is the trick to stop the carnage.
Breastfeeding is blissful until their first teeth appear and then you somehow learn how to call Jesus in 12 different languages. And if you have heavy feeders like my two boys, i can tell you those little beautiful suckers can draw everything dry including your bone marrow 😁
I wish I could also say that the milking ducts do “bounce back” after the breastfeeding season is over but let’s just say everyone is different and for some, the wonderbra really does wonders.
Sheila is the founder of African Women’s Dinner. She holds a Postgraduate degree in Corporate Brand Management from Brunel University, London. She is an avid hilarious writer who regularly amuses and educates with her life experience posts on her Facebook wall.
You can connect with her on https://www.facebook.com/sheila.gatonye
#DiamondsInTheSky – the movie. Coming soon to Netflix. Staring Toyin Abraham Femi Adebayo Yvonne Jegede https://youtu.be/MB8V21C_GDc