“There is a huge difference between being married and experiencing marriage.
Many couples are only married on paper but their hearts are not married to each other. When you fall in love and get married, your hearts are supposed to fuse together and beat as one.

But many married people keep their hearts to themselves and refuse to give themselves away to their spouse – except through sex – which is why many fall out of love and grow apart…despite living under the same roof ”

Remember what the commandment of God concerning marriage is “A man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife (and vice-versa) and they two shall become one”

Unfortunately many get married but remain cleaved to their mummy, daddy, awon boys…and even their Exes…..yet expect their marriage to work.

The word of God also says “Where your treasure is, there also will your heart be”

For many married people, getting married is just another milestone, or life accomplishment or cultural obligation that must be fulfilled. But their hearts are not really surrendered to the marriage and to their spouse. They don’t see their spouse as a treasure but primarily somebody to perform or fulfil certain roles in their lives. Eg be the mother of their babies, be their “mother”, make them happy, share their bed, be their social or financial ladder etc

Before marriage you are meant to see yourself as a whole yet incomplete being. That is only when you will be able to see your spouse as someone to complete you. But when you see yourself as whole, complete, fulfilled, self reliant and self dependent (and I don’t mean economically alone)  before marriage, you will not be able to fully accommodate another person or assimilate them into your life….. And even if you do get married, you will never really experience being spiritually, mentally or emotionally married to them… and that person will never really be a part of you.

But just another person in your life…

And that, is what I call MISMARRIED.

Jummy Baroness J Ariyo
22 July 2016