Men joke that any sex is good sex—and they’re not entirely kidding. They’re biologically designed to be gratified in bed more quickly and easily than we are. But when pressed, almost every man will admit that sometimes sex is better than good. Many men have been known to let go of a good woman simply because she doesn’t excite him in bed. Certain sex moves drive them crazy in the best possible way. Women who know these moves hold the kind of power over men that inspires great art, novels and films. And you don’t have to be lithe or athletic to perfect them. In fact, they’re ridiculously easy to learn.

1. Let him watch

What it is: Moving in a way that is specifically intended to excite him

How to do it:  Men are erotic visualists, more intensely aroused by visual stimulation than women are. Some men say that watching a woman climax is the ultimate form of arousal for them.

Many women touch themselves discreetly during intercourse to facilitate orgasm. Few realize they can use this little move with a theatrical flourish to arouse their men. Next time you’re ready to make love and he isn’t particularly interested, put on a sexy shirt and nothing else (except maybe black thigh-high stockings and a pair of heels) and assume a provocative position, with your back against the headboard, legs open and bent at the knees. Place two fingers in an inverted V straddling your clitoris.

2. Stand up your man

What it is: A manual wake-up call for him

How to do it: Men love to be stroked, fondled and handled with authority by expert female hands—and they love watching a woman take manual erotic control of them. If he’s having trouble getting a firm erection, rub a small amount of oil or lubricant onto your palms and put one hand firmly around the base of his penis. Work the other hand from the base up to the head in a circular, twisting motion, as if you were following a winding staircase up his appendage. Caress the head with your palm. Then start at the bottom again. This staircase goes only one way: up.

If he’s sensitive around his perineum (the space between his testicles and anus), adjust the hand gripping the base of his penis so you’re free to massage the perineum with a finger or your thumb. Or pay attention to his testicles if he likes that. When he has a full and firm erection, guarantee his stamina by using this stroke: Open your hand and form a V with your thumb and index finger. Slide his penis between the V so the flat of your palm caresses the shaft, and move upward from the base to the head. Again, only move up.

3. Take matters into your own hands

What it is: A hand job like he’s never had—and couldn’t possibly give himself

How to do it: This is really a two-hand job. Begin by clasping your lubricated hands together, fingers interlaced, tightly around him (but not so tightly, of course, that you cut off his circulation). Move your hands up the shaft in one long twisting motion followed by the same motion as you work your way back down. Now vary that move by eliminating the twist. When he has a firm erection, clasp your hands at the top of the shaft. Gently contract and release them around the shaft at approximately one-second intervals. Keep doing this up and down the shaft, stopping at the rim where the shaft meets the head.

4. Perfect the stand-up kiss

What it is: A way to arouse him or restore his flagging erection during lovemaking

How to do it: This can arouse him when he thinks he’s not in the mood; it’s the most direct route to a state of heightened readiness. Holding his penis firmly in one hand, take it in your mouth, moving the head and the top third of the shaft in and out. When he becomes erect, use a variety of strokes, including these two:

• The twist and swirl: Use one hand to do the circular twisting motion described in move No. 2 as you swirl your tongue around the corona (the ridge separating the shaft from the head), paying particular attention to the frenulum (the small piece of skin where the head meets the shaft).
• The butterfly flick: Lightly flick your tongue back and forth across the delicate corona.

5. Give him the ultimate delight

What it is: Oral sex all the way

How to do it: He’ll be eternally grateful for this one. Do the steps in move No. 4 until he’s close to orgasm. Then gradually draw him in, as much of him as you can comfortably handle, keeping a hand firmly around the rest (use your thumb and forefinger to form a ring—an okay sign—and place this ring around your mouth). Move your tongue around the shaft. Pull in your cheeks to create suction. Open your mouth to release the suction, but keep the tip of your tongue engaged. With the palm of one hand or your thumb, massage the perineum.

6. Take the roundabout path

What it is: An arousing spin on the female-superior position

How to do it: Men love the special moves women make in the female-superior position. To increase his excitement and visual stimulation—and intensify clitoral and G-spot stimulation for you—move on an oval track rather than straight up and down. Imagine you’re circumscribing an oval with your body, with the downstroke at one end of the oval, the upstroke at the other. Lean forward slightly as you push down on him, stimulating your clitoris. Pull up and move backward slightly on the upstroke, stimulating your G spot. (Can’t find your G spot? It’s a patch of skin a third of the way up the front vaginal wall, easily reachable with your fingers.)

7. Adjust the angle

What it is: A variation on the rear-entry position that dramatically improves the experience for both of you

How to do it: This simple adjustment to the basic rear-entry position accomplishes two worthy goals: It presents your buttocks in the most flattering way possible and it increases G-spot stimulation. Never had a G-spot orgasm? You just may have one now.

Here’s how you do it: Kneel on the edge of the bed and have your man stand behind you. Lie with your chest flat on the bed and elevate your hips at a steeper angle than you would normally do in this position. This elongates the vaginal barrel, making the fit tighter and creating additional stimulation for both of you.

When you can learn and master these powerful bedroom tricks and us them on you husband – regularly – no way will he ever stray away from home. In fact, he will always be in a hurry to get back home – everytime.

Jummy Ariyo

August 2015