As yet another “meltdown” video hits the social media circuit, it looks like we have another relationship gone publicly sour and the fall out being played out on the pages and walls of facebook and whatsapp.
The video was sent to my whatsapp yesterday but admittedly, I tend to delete videos as soon as they hit my account – for the simple reason that they affect the working of my phone and cause it to freeze due to content overload!
But the issue came up in a chat with one of my fiends this afternoon and I was directed to this sister’s wall. I must warm caution as this video is not for the faint hearted. As a matter of fact, I stopped after the first 5 seconds. I am a yoruba chick and I believe that curses can travel via the pages of facebook and not desiring the curses directed at others to stick on me, I quickly retreated. Even some ifa, shopono, oro and alagemo priests will be soo envious of this lady’s prowess.
But the question is – what is it that turns a once hot love relationship into a “woe betide you” affair? This same question was the topic on my showBaronessJ’s World on Naijafm just a couple of weeks ago. How does love fly out of the window to be replaced by cold, biter, arsenic, ascorbic, vitriolic, “may you be crushed by a trailer”, “hope you die painfully” kind of hatred?? How can you get to the point of so much hatred for someone you once shared a bed and a home with?? Someone you have kids and swore before God and man to spend the rest of your life with?
And this, before you start to ask, doesn’t just apply to women alone. At least we all know we women go through life with our emotions and wear our feelings on our sleeves. And when our hearts are broken, the whole world must hear about it. What then do you say about men?? I personally know of men who talk 100 times more than their wives – or ex wives. Everything that went down in private between them and their wives is made public knowledge by none other that the so called husband. Many men do not know how to hold back. After having sex with her for years in every way, position and places imaginable and un-imaginable, after giving you 2,3 or 4 healthy babies and standing by your side through many years and many milestones – the realisation suddenly downs upon you – she is a witch!!! An you proceed to announce to the entire universe. Not only that, your daft family and friends propagate the news on your behalf!

It is quite amazing the extent we – men and women – go to to let the whole world know about what is happening in our private lives. Social media has become the devil’s tool that folks use to ruin the lives of people they were once in love with. Those men that posted on social media, for example, viral videos of them in copulation with their ex girlfriends as a revenge for them leaving them – are good examples.
Relationships break down everyday and unfortunately, marriages end all the time. But as painful and as hurtful as the situation can possibly get – I know as I have been there – one must try the uttermost to keep one’s dignity well intact. Whatever lies, whatever stories or whatever it is that must have happened behind closed doors – really should remain behind closed doors.
When you have washed your dirty linen in public, no one will ever take you serious again.
When you bring your marital problems to facebook, the entire world will know about it – and all you succeed in doing is making a public joke and nuisance of yourself. You might get a few “o ma se os” and some people will probably sympathise with you and your predicament – but they will still ask “did she have to bring it to facebook”?
And when your relationship breaks down – don’t turn yourself into a weapon of destruction. Yes feelings have been terribly hurt. And the sense of betrayal and disappointment can be deeply unbearable – but they can and will heal.
A broken heart can still be mended no matter how bad the break. And although we all desire a happy ever after, no one is guaranteed it. We all know the fairy tale stories of Cinderella, Beauty & the beast or Sleeping Beauty but we don’t know how the stories played out after the wedding
Everyone married today will tell you marriage is extremely hard work. Many trudge through it and some give up the battle and walk away. But everyone knows it is not a bed of roses. Even pastors have problems – real problems in their marriages.
So any marriage breaking down – is just another one. It wont be the first nor the last, but life must continue…
And most of all, we must remember that in every – well most marriages, there are also the innocent victims and bystanders who witness all the mudslinging and vitriols – the kids.So before you act, think of them Kids can be seriously damaged by the madness they witness between their parents. Thats why we have a lot of dysfunctional young men and woman who grew up in homes full of hatred and aggression or even violence.
And don’t forget that every single curse you place on the mother or father of your kids – travels automatically down to the kids and then on to their own kids and grand kids. Who knows whether many people we see today with all sorts of issues are unknowingly suffering the effect of curses placed by their mother upon their father – or otherwise.
So please, my friends, when you are angry, don’t get mad. Stop. Take time out and pray for personal peace.
And most of all……..


Copyright Jummy Ariyo

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