Have you ever wondered why some folks never seem to be able to hold down a relationship?

Or have you thought why some people start a new relationship but never seem able to get their ex out their heads even if the relationship had ended acrimoniously.

That is because you form a spiritual connection with each person you are in a sexual relationship with and those connections are hard to break.

This spiritual connection in relationships is formed primarily and basically through intimacy which comes with the act of lovemaking. Having sex with anyone is the most natural and the most powerful form of intimacy you can get into  – almost as powerful as the connection between mother and child.

A mother carries a child in her womb for months, the child derives nutrients from the mother throughout pregnancy and in the easly stages of life via blood,  bodily fluids and breastmilk. A mother carries her baby on her chest close to her heart and the baby hears the mother’s heartbeat louder that anyone else and louder than any other sound and can recognise it anywhere. A mother also brings forth her child through the most private part of her body, in absolute nudity. And a neborn baby’s first external connection with the mother is when he/she is place naked on the mother’s often naked chest – skin to skin.

The act of sex or lovemaking, cannot be too different. In copulation, you are completely naked in front of your partner – an act of total and absolute surrender; you exchange bodily fluids via your most private parts and even suck fluids off each other. You lay skin to skin on top of each other in the closest and tightest embrace immaginable and feel each other’s heartbeat. This act even if only once, is the closest any human being can get with another human and the act of lovemaking signifies the most natural and most human form of sharing.  Body, soul and spirit are shared, given and taken from the moment of penetration up to ejaculation during which you release your entire being and let go of all of your inhibitions as every bit of your senses scream with you in agreement that you are in the best place. And everytime you enter into this act with anybody, you share, give and take a bit more of each other.

So when you have sex constantly with one person, you are getting filled more and more with part of that person. You become part of them and they, part of you. You fill their mental, physical and spiritual being and they, yours. This is why couples that have more sex are crazier about each other than couples that are not very sexual or are not yet at the sexual stage. And why some people with a more intense nature, get frightfully fixated on their sexual partner.

Imagine then, if you have had these deep experiences with several persons. And even if you are one who favours free no strings attached sex with strangers or multiple partners, you still exchange a small part of each other everytime you engage in sex. And the more sexual partners you have, the more of each partner that you are carrying around with you – a kind of multiple personality. Some can even get so mixed up that they can’t differentiate between whom they are copulating with from one bed to the next.

Many people come out of an intense relationship and rush straight into the next one without allowing for time to get over the other person or get them out of their system. The get into another intimate relationship while still being filled with much of the former partner. The infill of their previous partner conflicts with the new filling from the new partner and before long, problems start to occur “You are not like so & so” “You don’t smell like so & so” “You don’t think like so & so” “You don’t do it like so & so”. Even the most perfect new partner gets infavourably compared to the not so nice ex. And this is because while still being filled with the former partner, there isn’t much of the new partner getting in – or at least not enough yet.

Could this be perhaps, the fundamental reason why the church is against sex before or outside of marriage?

If you have sex with someone without being properly married to them, then you are actually stealing from them, perhaps? You are taking from them and they are taking from you even though you do not properly belong to each other.

Or simply that you are engaging in an act that should only be experienced with someone you are joined together with – verbally, completely, commitedly, whole-heartedly, legally and mutually – in a life time relationship with mutual agreement to stay permanently committed to each other.

Of course, the reality nowadays – is anyone’s guess.

Copyright BaronessJ 2014